Airport Thoughts

I have been travelling a little bit lately and with travel comes downtime and with downtime, my mind tends to wander.  And then I have thoughts.  Here are some of my thoughts in no particular order:

1.  If I am a terrorist going through security in the United domestic terminal at SFO, I will travel with preteen children and have them carry my terrorist carry on luggage.  Recently, I saw a TSA agent waive at least three families through security (i.e. they did not go through the body scanner, metal detector or their luggage get scanned, both parents and children).  The agent called them forward and just had them go through a side gate.  The only thing they had in common was having kids in the 9-12 age range as far as I could tell.  However they did make a 75 year old get out of her wheelchair to go through when she could not stand without assistance.  Also made a mom carry a three-six month old through.  Personally, I think EVERY person goes through security or none at all. 

2.  Most TSA agents are fairly agreeable in a difficult situation but when you run across a bad one, he or she is a class A jerk.  One passenger in a line I was in recently was trying to get a TSA agent's attention.  Not sure for what reason but the agent didn't see him.  The man said things like "excuse me",  "sir", "agent".  Nothing.  Then finally, "hey".  With no response to the agent who was pretty close by, I pointed out the passenger to the agent and he looked at me pretty coolly and said "I heard him.  I just don't respond to rudeness.  'Hey' is for horses".  Maybe the guy shouldn't have used 'hey' but he didn't start with that.  All of which the guy behind me pointed out when he said "the guy didn't lead with that".  The TSA agent said something like " I don't have to take ANY attitude.  I can make his life pretty miserable and miss his flight too".  Some people take a little authority and abuse it.  Sorry to say I have seen this kind of thing happen fairly often and usually way out of proportion to whatever they are responding to.  Really?  You would make him jump through hoops, miss his flight, all because he said "Hey"?  Wow.  Good. For. You.

3.  The absolute worst thing to happen to airline travel is the fee to check luggage.  Those of you that know me, know this has been a bee in my bonnet for quite some times.  The charge for checked luggage has caused boarding times to increase.  No matter what they tell you.  Just about every person boarding a plane these days has a piece of rolling luggage, most to avoid the fee,  and there simply isn't enough space in the overhead bins for all of that luggage.  For example, my recent flight had 8 boarding groups.  After the SECOND group had boarded, they made an announcement that all overhead space was filled and all remaining carry on rolling bags needed to be bagged and checked.  And of course, they only had one agent to do that.  I time it.  Once that announcement was made, it took over 45 minutes to board the remaining 6 groups.  Because then every single person with a bag that has to be checked doesn't hear the announcement and had to argue with the gate agent for a minute or two.  Then the agent had to print out the luggage tag for each piece.  It was painful.  And unnecessary.

So if you are an airline executive you are probably saying right now "You are right, Wendy.  But how do we solve this problem?  Do you have an idea?"  Why yes, I do.  Thank you for asking.  Airlines have this backward.  Charge to bring bags on board.  Bags checked into the belly of the plane - free.  Each person can bring an item or two that WILL fit under the seat in front.  If someone wants to bring one (and only one) rolling bag on board then they pay.  In advance.  Figure our how many bags can be accommodated in the overhead bins and then sell no more spaces than can accommodate actual pieces of luggage.  People that want to pay for the PRIVILEGE of bringing luggage, will.  It will cut down on the insufferable delay on boarding and deplaning.  Leaving the plane takes almost as long.  Getting luggage out of the bins, trying to roll it out, determining it won't roll and then inevitably picking it up and carrying it out -- it all takes time. (And this reminds me, if you can't lift your carry on over your head, you have no business bringing it on board!)   All this pain could be eliminated if we charged to bring luggage on aboard.  And I have no doubt.  While getting on and off planes has always been cumbersome, it has never been to the extent that it became until after the airlines started charging luggage fees. The airlines have it backward.  Not surprisingly.

4.  The "fasten seat belt" light has two different and fascinating, in my not so humble opinion, effects on people.  When it is on, usually during ascent and descent, I am always stunned by the number of folks who suddenly NEED to get something from their bag in the overhead compartment.  Hey buddy!  What's so important in your bag that you absolutely cannot wait 15 minutes to get it?  Your Sudoku can wait.  On one of my recent trips, the flight attendant had to tell a man not once, not twice but three times to sit down because the light was still on and we were in the process of landing!  I think that on every flight I have taken (and I have thought hard about it, I mean every single one) in the past 6 months I have observed someone up when the seat belt light was on.  Check it out when you fly next.

The second thing I noticed about the seat belt light is the mad dash to the bathroom the second that light goes off.  If you get up to stretch your legs (or get that Sudoku), you could be trampled by the number of folks going to the bathroom.  I know some people have issues but really people, I think you would be better served if you remembered your mother's practical admonition to go before  you leave.  Airports seem to have bathroom every 30 yards, probably for this very reason.  Check them out, a lot of them have those cool Dyson airblade hand dryers. 


This is the danger of letting your mind wander.  There is a fine line between thoughts and rants, I have discovered.  Maybe I should be playing "Draw Something" instead. . .